THE UNYIELDING SOUL
“Take the bull by the horns”
From the age of 7-14, I lived in Portugal with my family near the capital, Lisbon. It’s a beautiful region in a country that is rich with culture, tradition, cuisine, and entertainment. One of the traditions are the bull fights which happen at different times of the year. They are held in an arena, and typically divided into two stages: the cavaleiro (a horseman fighting the bull), and the pega (a group of eight men on foot that challenge the bull without protection or weapons). These events are quite the show, especially when the eight guys get ready for impact with the bull. Although I’m not a huge fan of these events, due to what happens with the bull, the images have served as a reminder of a value that my father instilled in me. When faced with life challenges he would often say, “Marco, you’ve got to take the bull by the horns.” Funny how that stuck with me!
Church ministry often presents challenges that seem to fling you around, just like the bullfighter when he takes the bull by the horns. You, and those around you, take hold of that thing for dear life, and don’t let go until the task is done. Whether it’s helping a church member go through a tragic loss, or leading a church through necessary and healthy changes, it’s a rough ride, and if you haven’t experienced that yet as a pastor, don’t worry…it’s coming.
When I preparing for pastoral ministry, endurance through hardships, and how to do it, was not necessarily something the Bible College professors talked about. We all assumed that it would come up, but how could we prepare ourselves for those seasons? Was this only part of hands-on training? Did we have to endure through the ride alone? Or, did we have a team of people with us?
For the most part, “yes” to most of those questions. However, I started off as a solo pastor in a small church, and after all I had seen amongst pastors, I knew I had to seek support from the outside. There is loads of wisdom that can be taken from those who have gone before us, and I’m grateful that right from the start I surrounded myself with more experienced pastors who knew the different rhythms of ministry, and how to walk through them. They were those other seven bullfighters when I was the one who took the bull by the horns.
Yet, there is a pattern that Thom Rainer shared about a pastor’s tenure that helped me prepare mentally. In his podcast titled, “5 Stages of Pastoral Tenure,” Rainer outlines it this way:
YEAR ONE: THE HONEYMOON
Everything is fun and exciting during this time. The pastor is enamoured with the church, and the church has high hopes for the future with the pastor.
YEARS TWO AND THREE: CONFLICTS AND CHALLENGES
Here the pastor and leadership begin making some changes, as well as facing the realities of how well people have adapted to the pastor and the changes. Conflicts and challenges usually erupt during this time and it’s here that one chooses to “take the bull by the horns.” How we handle this stage determines what we choose in the next one.
YEARS FOUR AND FIVE: CROSSROADS (part one)
Depending on how the challenges and conflicts were handled, this is usually the time when a pastor will consider his/her options. If the pastor decides it’s best to move on, or the church leadership decides to let go of the pastor, then both parties need to be prepared to repeat this process. But if both parties choose to work through things and move forward together, then there is hope.
YEARS SIX THROUGH TEN: FRUIT AND HARVEST
This season is only for those who have endured throughout the ride. They had the sense of God’s direction, lead through necessary changes, worked through the conflicts to the best of their ability, and didn’t give up. This is when we enter into the stage that we all went into ministry for. The season where we begin to see the reality of church health, lives touched by your ministry, and a sense of momentum. Now, just doing the time doesn’t accomplish this, but how we lead does. The reason for that is because we’ve given God time to work both in our hearts as leaders as well as the heart of the church.
YEARS ELEVEN AND BEYOND: CROSSROADS (Part two)
Just when you think the rollercoaster is over, think again. The pastor’s tenure goes through cycles, and he/she must continue receiving direction from the Lord and sense the pulse of the church. It could be that at this point God directs the leader to move on, or gives him/her fresh vision for the next season.
This framework that Rainer outlined, based on many interviews with churches and pastors, really did give me a chance to anticipate what could come next, as well as evaluate which stage of the tenure I’m in. But, when you’ve taken “the bull by the horns” you always wonder when you should let go. When is enough, truly enough? How much can you handle? Do you have what it takes to hold on a little longer? Or, if you hold on too long, could it kill you?
If you’re wondering if you should be leaving your church, check out Carey Nieuwhof’s blog post, “7 Signs It’s Time To Leave” to give you some perspective. But beware, during times of conflict and challenge, you will be tempted to find those voices in your life that will tell you what you want to hear.
WHICH VOICES DO YOU WELCOME TO SPEAK INTO YOUR LIFE?
For me it was simple, I had to find the voices that would tell me what I didn’t want to hear. These are the people who have done this pastoral tenure cycle. Those who could see through all the nonsense that I’d bring to the table, all the excuses as to why it would be better to just leave. I had four pastors and my wife that became these voices of reason. All four of those pastors had served in churches for long tenures, one of them more than 30 years in the same church. Here are some of the things I heard from them:
“If the pastor leaves, the problem stays. If the pastor stays, the problem leaves.”
“Never leave during a problem, and when there is no problem you won’t want to leave.”
“You can leave, but your next church will have another so-and-so as well. So you either deal with it here, or you’ll deal with it there.”
And ultimately, here are my most frustrating ones that came from my own wife:
“What is God saying to you?” (YOU CAN’T LIE ABOUT THIS ONE)
And, “Has God removed His mantle of responsibility from you in this place?”
How could I not pause and reflect deeply with these questions and truths? In the end, these individuals were my bullfighting partners that kept giving me reason to keep holding on. Despite the wildness of the ride, and even the personal injuries faced, there comes a time when the soul must remain unyielding. We remain yielded to God, but never surrendered to the desire to bail on God’s call upon us because of the harshness of the fight. Again, this is why we must never walk alone.
WHY SHOULD WE “TAKE THE BULL BY THE HORNS” AND HOLD OF FOR THE RIDE?
When God spoke into my heart about serving Him in a pastoral role, He inspired me with impacting people’s lives. All I wanted was to go and make disciples, and what I have discovered is that the journey to a season of fruitfulness requires endurance through the hard times. Today, as I am going into my seventh year at my church, I’ve begun seeing what these pastors were saying all along. People are being impacted for Jesus, and they share their stories with me with a sense of gratitude. Whatever scars I have, that I used to curse, now I turn to praise. I praise God for surrounding me with people that encouraged me to stay the course. I praise God for sustaining my heart with His promise, even when the ride felt like it was going to kill me. I praise God that Jesus is moving in people’s lives.
So, why should we have an UNYIELDING SOUL (one that does not quit when it gets tough)? Because someone is on the other side waiting for you to bring them the love of Christ. Someone is watching to see if you’re for real, and not just about your own ministry. People are looking for leaders they can trust, and they can’t trust if we just let go when it matters most.